That would be Decision Day.
Today I saw my consultant again. As I walked into his room, he proved that he is still at the top of his game by noting, ‘You’re still ill, aren’t you?’ So shrewd. It was a forgone conclusion that I would be needing more surgery, but he still felt the need to list all the reasons why he did not really want to do it. Apparently my eyeball may sink into my skull; my vision may deteriorate; my scar will be more evident; my nerve damage could worsen; my issues with post-operative swelling will cause problems; the list went on. I could not decide whether to glaze over with boredom or freak out in terror. One snippet that snapped me out of my quandary was, ‘I’ve never actually had to do this before. I have no idea how easy your orbital floor plate will be to remove.’ Oh goody. When did the NHS decide that we were all equal partners in deciding our care? I do not want to hear my consultant’s misgivings, dilemmas and doubts. I want to hear that he has it all under control, that he knows what he is doing and that his professional opinion is both valid and correct. I do know that I am in safe hands and I do trust him. I just wish he had not chosen to share some of that information with me. Then again, would I still trust him had he not been so open with me over the previous months? I do not know the answer. Perhaps it is just a crappy situation that has no right way of being handled.
Anyway, since there is no choice, I will be having an operation to remove my remaining pieces of metalwork. At some point in the next four weeks, but probably not for the next two, the Captain’s dreams of being married to his very own Seven of Nine are going to lie shattered on the operating theatre floor.
However, there is an upside. Several, actually. First, it may mean that I really do start to get better. Which, all things considered, would be quite nice. But most importantly, it means that the Captain and I get to spend another week alone aboard Wand’ring Bark and I’ll be able to do some more towpath foraging. This pleases me greatly. I plan to make sloe gin at the very least. Which will go rather nicely alongside the recipe I had published on British Waterways website recently. Do have a read, I think the plums are mostly gone now but there are so many variations to try you need only be limited by your imagination and the amount of alcohol in your cupboard!
We’re going to be heading up the Staffs & Worcs Canal to the Caldon Canal. I shall take my basket, my berry picker, my recipes and my imagination. Oh and LOTS of gin 🙂